Winner
Win a versus match
Champion
Win 10 versus matches
Unstoppable
Win 100 versus matches
Met Your Match
Finish 20 versus matches in a draw
Least Concern
Watch 10 fleshbirds pop
Near Threatened
Watch 100 fleshbirds pop
Vulnerable
Watch 500 fleshbirds pop
Endangered
Watch 1000 fleshbirds pop
Critically Endangered
Watch 5000 fleshbirds pop
Tenderised
Die to a swinging hammer
Fresh Mince
Fall into a meat grinder
Rolling Pin
Get popped by a rolling spike ball
Beam Me Up!
Jump through a teleporter
Tetanus
Die to the needles in the hypodermic stage
How Did You Get Up There?
Die to ceiling Spikes
Shoulda Looked Up
Get squashed by a falling holo-cube
Cooperation Makes it Happen
Defeat a cronenbird in versus mode
Mutated
Pick up a glob of radiation
Attack Helicopter
Pick up the wings and beak gun powerup at the same time
Centipede
Have more than 6 legs at once
Danger ball
Get a kill while you have no legs
What Doesn't Kill You...
Block a spike with a tumor
Survivor
Clear 10 waves of cronenbirds in survival mode
Hunter
Clear 20 waves of cronenbirds in survival mode
Exterminator
Clear 50 waves of cronenbirds in survival mode