Coffin Dodgers
MattyFTM's Progress
My Kart Is Augmented
Buy an upgrade. Good thing you old types like a bit of DIY, eh?
We Can Rebuild Him
Fully upgrade a single kart aspect, putting the younger generation and their custom cars to shame with your far superior experience in craftsmanship. And less body kits.
Million Dollar Granddad
Fully upgrade your kart, showing your grandkids the money they could have had if they were nicer.
GrimAced
Win your first race, proving that old people everywhere actually can drive at a moderate pace.
During The War...
Run over an opponent’s fallen body, adding insult to an already pretty painful injury. You monster.
Technophobic
Use an EMP 20 times successfully - who says old people can’t use technology? You do, apparently.
Feeling Lucky?
Hose 20 oldies with the Uzi. The world’s slowest police chase is going to star you, you criminal.
Am I Missing An Eyebrow?
Expertly explode 20 pensioners with the use of a rocket, causing mass havoc and outcry from the Royal Aeronautical Society.
Slick Moves Like Jagger
Slip up 20 people’s Sunday drive with some oil, making you no better than the young’ins who litter, you hypocrite.
Luckily My Shield Will Protect Me
Successfully use a shield to block 20 horrible whippersnapper’s attacks against your innocent old self.
Gone In Many Seconds
Boost without hurtling far off course and crashing too horribly into the scenery 20 times.
He Was A Skater Boy
Keyword being was. Knock 5 skaters off the road.
Paperboy The Hard Way
Run over 5 bikers. We know that drivers hate them, but you’re in mobility scooters! That’s just nasty.
Death Defier
Get gold in all races in the village, telling Grim he’s not having your soul tonight.
Death Derider
Get gold in all races in the town, insulting Grim’s efficiency by evading his grasp twice now.
Death Despiser
Get gold in all races in the farm, making Grim REALLY want your soul now.
Death Defiler
Get gold in all races in the graveyard, ruining Grim’s happy place.
Death Decider
Get gold in all races in the showdown, winning your fate and telling Grim to stop harassing old people all over the world.
Casting your net
Win a single network multiplayer race, your first step to world domination.
Silver Surfer
Take your online points total past 10, proving that old people and the Internet isn’t a disaster waiting to happen.
Worldly Wise Whiz
Amass over 50 points online, it’s what Tim Berners-Lee would have wanted.
Snatch me if you can
Snatch an item off an opponent in Snatch game mode. What has society come to!
Double, double toil and trouble
Get a Snatch Item pair for double points and bragging rights down at the bingo club.
Sweep
Get 1 Crazy Granddad item. You are cleaning up this town. Somebody has to. You’re just doing it really slowly.
A Quiet Night In
Get the blow-up doll in the crazy Granddad game mode for an evening of pleasure with your very own plastic friend.
Batteries not Included
Get taken out by a UFO laser, more than a close encounter.
Over the hump
Win a network race on a Wednesday. Then celebrate by visiting the most duck filled pond you ever sat by.
A Manic Monday
Add to the mayhem by winning a network race on a Monday.
Tuesday’s child
Put your graceful driving to good use by winning a network race on a Tuesday.
Thor's Day
Impress the mighty Thor with a network race victory on a Thursday.
Jason goes to Sunny Pines
Win a network race on a Friday. Just avoid going down by the lake if you can.
Disco Driving
Catch that Saturday Night Fever by winning a network race on a Saturday.
No rest for the wicked
Why rest when you could be earning achievements. Win a network race on a Sunday.
Week Minded
You're an all rounder. Win a network race on each day of the week..
Trick or Treat
Add insult to injury by winning a network race on Halloween, Grim’s favourite day of the year.
You Old Romantic
Win a network race on Valentine’s Day and dedicate this achievement to that special someone.
Christmas Truce?
Not a chance, take out your opponents and win a network race on Christmas day.