POSTAL 2
TheTwoFistedWonderBrain's Progress
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper.
Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday.
C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday.
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday.
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday.
Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday.
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday.
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs.
Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits.
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
There's always money in the banana stand
SCREW that game!
Found 'em faster than GWB
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
John Rambo'd!
Gary vs. The K. Man
You are not alone
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend.
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Ape Gape
Dick Message
PooMasher
Hobo Sexual
Ginger Mint
Ode to Eddings
Ladies Love Cake
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
I'm not even supposed to be here today!