Because video games
Break 100 crates
Make an entrance
Jump through 10 windows
Three birds, one explosion
Kill at least 3 enemies with one explosion
Mumbo Combo
Get a 10x combo
Comb-o-ver
Get a 20x combo
Ah, Combon now!
Get a 50x combo
Well done
Kick a frying pan in to the face of an enemy
Sk8, don't h8
Kick a skateboard in to the face of an enemy
Think fast
Kick a Gas Canister in to the face of an enemy
Knife to meat you
Stick a knife in to an enemy
Flying pan
Kill enemy by ricocheting bullet off frying pan
Jester
Juggle basketball 10 times without it touching anything
Barrely saw it coming
Kill an enemy using a barrel
Table service
Flip 10 tables
Shamona
Dodge 1000 bullets
Yes you can
Kick enemies 100 times
They probably deserved it
Kill 500 enemies
Murderous tendencies
Kill 1000 enemies
Questionable moral
Kill 2000 enemies
Gold star for you
Get an S-rating
Wow
Get S-rating on 10 levels
Brush your shoulders off
Get S-rating on 25 levels
S for Sensei
Get S-rating on all levels
Numb fingers
Complete a level without firing a weapon
One for the road
Finish chapter "Old Town"
Leap of faith
Finish chapter "District Null"
What just happened?
Finish chapter "Pedro's World"
Train of thought
Finish chapter "The Sewer"
Connection lost
Finish chapter "The Internet"
Face the truth
Finish the game